I met Tommy Hyde in the summer of 1985. Tommy was a senior at the University of Tennessee at Martin. I was a transfer student coming in as a Junior. I pledged into Alpha Kappa Psi business fraternity, and Tommy was one of the older Brothers.
Tommy operated at a different level than the rest of us. We all had goals. Tommy had vision. Most of us were really good at something. Tommy seemed to be great at everything. The world seemed like a big place to most of us. In 1985, Tommy was already making business and personal contacts all around the globe.
I include a link to Tommy's obituary because it is beautifully written, and it captures something special about the guy that we all knew and loved.
"Memories and stories are the salve that soothe the soul." My cousin, Dr. Don Garner, said that. Don is a professor of Old Testament studies at Carson Newman College, in Morristown, TN. He also serves small country churches in east Tennessee as Interim Pastor. He said this while delivering the eulogy for his oldest son, Aaron, who died in a car crash.
For me, writing some things down is a way of honoring and remembering. I hope stories and conversations I remember with Tommy may have some soothing effect on those that love him and miss him.
That smile -
The first time you met Tommy Hyde, before a word was ever said, you saw that smile.
He was genuinely interested in other people. Tommy asked questions. and follow up questions. It may have seemed like small talk. As I got to know Tommy better, I realized that as he made friends, and talked to people in general, he was able to remember details, map out, and connect information. When Tommy talked to you, you felt like that was the most important thing on his mind. The next time you talked to Tommy, be it a day later, or ten years later, you picked right back up where you left off.
Surprises -
Tommy operated on so many levels. I recall at UT Martin, my roommate, Bill Lowry, and I were doing odd jobs, including cleaning chimneys to help pay for school, and have some spare money. Tommy was interested (lots of questions) and encouraging. We divided up into two teams during the busiest times, and paid some of our friends to help us. Tommy appreciated hustle. He recognized grit and determination. He had many layers of that himself. What Tommy didn't do was brag, or belittle someone else. He didn't have the need to "one-up" someone, and tell all of his business. Tommy had deals going all the time. While we were at Martin, he owned a mobile home park, and exported timber overseas. If you asked he would tell you about any of this, but Tommy was a humble, regular guy. I knew Tommy pretty well, but I didn't know he spoke 10 languages! What a gifted, surprising, man Tommy was!
The Mixer -
In college, male fraternities often had a mixer, or party, with a female sorority. All the girls from a greek organization came to our fraternity house, and danced, sometimes drank a little, and generally had a good, no pressure party. The mixer Tommy put together involved Japanese students, all female, almost none of whom spoke english. A week before the party, Tommy spoke to us about the mixer, at our regular weekly fraternity meeting, Tommy expected a level of respect, and a standard of behavior, and he made this clear to us. The party was fun, and the girls stayed in groups and mostly giggled at us and danced together. One of the brothers gave one of the girls his fraternity hat, and all of the girls wanted one. It was maybe a keepsake to remember the party. We enjoyed the mixer, and as far as I know, everyone behaved, and Tommy was proud of us.
The interview book -
Fast forward to 1997. For lots of reasons, I was looking to change jobs to get closer to family, and to my hometown. Tommy was going wide open with Management Recruiters Japan. He always took time to talk, and always the teacher, had suggestions, and sometimes, specific directions on what to do next. After talking to Tommy on the phone for a minute, he said, " write this down, and do exactly what I say." I did write it all down. And I did what Tommy said. The result was, the VP of Lehigh Safety Shoes, Fred Kuhnen, offered me a job at my first interview, after talking for about thirty minutes. What was in the book? Some of the things they can't legally ask for, and a few things they always do: Resume, Copy of clean driving record, Letter from physician stating fit to work, credit report, personal financial statement, school transcript, Letters of reference. The book worked. I got the job, and we moved back home.
Yeah, ...well, ...ok -
Tommy's mind processed things at the speed of light and beyond. He spoke ten languages, remember? A person that can think that fast could seem overbearing or "know it all." Not Tommy! He listened patiently, even though he already knew where it was going. I noticed when we talked, he would sometimes say, "Yeah..., well,... ok." That was his way of buffering his response down to a rate that most of us, me especially, could handle. He slowed down for that moment, and related back to me what would or should happen next. I believe what is happening right now, in the present, is important. But I think we will be remembered by how we handle the "now" and what we do next. Tommy was a master of the "next."
"I may not see you for awhile"
I was at work, in my regular routine, and my cell phone rang. It was Tommy. He said, "Hey Brother, I may not see you for awhile." He and Yukari were going back to Mexico for more treatments. They were on the way to the airport, and he just wanted to chat for a minute. Tommy always asked questions, and that's what he did. He wanted to know about both our daughters, and how they were doing as young adults. He was interested in Will's soccer, and his recent success in high school football. We talked about my brother in law, Scott Fortner in Martin. Tommy and Scott grew up together. We talked about Tommy and Yukari's three grown children, and how well they were doing, and how proud he was of each one. He said, "We never got to do a deal together." I understood that to mean that I never worked with, or for Tommy. I told Tommy that I had it even better, because I could count on his friendship, support, and advice anytime, anywhere. Tommy finished the call with, "Love you Brother." I said, "Love you too Brother." This was the last time I talked to Tommy.
Legacy
Tommy had God given gifts, and he improved upon and expanded those gifts. Family legacy - Tommy's legacy is most clearly seen in his grown children, Erika, Alan, and Jim, and the love of his life, Yukari. Community and worldwide legacy - Tommy's influence on his community and the world continues. The Tom and Yukari Hyde Global Scholars Program helps students travel and study in Japan. (the paragraph below copied and pasted from Tom's obituary)
...help continue Tom’s dream of expanding cultural understanding through education with a memorial donation. Donations may be made with a check made out to University of Tennessee-Martin with “The Tom and Yukari Hyde Global Scholars Program” in the subject line. University of Tennessee at Martin 544 University Street, Martin, TN 38238
Thank you Tommy,
Thank you Tommy - for the smiles, the surprises, and the friendship and support. You helped us all think bigger. You helped us all live bigger. We may not see you for awhile, but we will see you again in heaven. I thank God for you and your family.