True story...My sister and I were at a funeral service.
We should all be ready to say something just in case we have to. Our willingness, plus the Lord's help, and it will all turn out ok...
Mrs. Trixie was a roommate of a family member, at Life Care Center Nursing Home in Tullahoma. We got to know her, and she got to know us. She transferred to another care facility in Winchester. Over the next year or so, Sheri and Melanie continued to check on her, and visit her.
When she passed away, we found out there would be a grave side service. Sheri and I got to Rose Hill Cemetery, and found the family gathering under the funeral home tent, to get out of the hot sun. The casket was at the front of the tent, on the big metal rollers, above the grave. The cloth drapes hid the dirt. I don't remember a lot of flowers.
When it was time for the service, a man in a coat and tie walked to the front and addressed the group. He smiled and welcomed us, and told us his name. He said he was from the funeral home, and there was no speaker scheduled. Then, he quietly stepped away and went and stood at the back of tent.
We sat in silence.
Mrs. Trixie was there. A dozen or so of her family, and some friends were there.
Somewhere around minute number three, I recieved an elbow to the ribs. Sheri leaned over, whisper-shouted in my ear, "Get up there...and say something!"
After a deep cleansing breath, I was at the front of the tent. They were as surprised to see me as I was to see them.
I said, "I'm not a preacher. But, I'm willing to lead our time together if that's ok." There were polite smiles, and a couple of nods of approval. The rest of the people looked at their shoes.
I started with a prayer.
Another cleansing breath,..Then I told the group that recently, our family went to Readyville, just this side of Woodbury, for our Aunt Jeanette's graveside service.
Photo: Curlee Church of Christ, and cemetary, in Readyville, TN
There was no preacher. Aunt Jeanette didn't want one. I told them that her son, Marc, led our time there, and we shared stories and memories. I told them that worked out pretty good.
I asked them if that was ok for today.
More polite smiles and nods.
I said, "Ok, I'll go first." I told them how we knew Mrs. Trixie. How she was kind and friendly to our family. Mrs. Trixie remembered names, and asked about whoever was not there that day as we visited. Mostly, I told them about her laugh, and how she managed to cheer us up, even though we were at the Nursing Home to visit and try to cheer them up.
Finally I said, "My sisters followed Mrs. Trixie to Winchester, and kept up with her there." I said, that we knew Mrs. Trixie during the last few years of her life, and she was a blessing to us. "That's how we know Mrs. Trixie."
Now most of the group was smiling and nodding. After a moment, I said, "Who would like to go next?"
One at a time, people spoke up. Fifteen or so minutes went by.
Once It got quiet again. I said, "While you all were sharing, I looked up a bible verse on my phone." Then I read Psalm 23 out loud. I tried to read slow, and look up from my phone as much as I could.
Another quiet moment, as I thought about how to end the service. We prayed to start. Made sense to pray at the end.
I told them I thought we had honored Mrs. Trixie well with the memories and laughter, and some tears. I asked if someone from Trixie's family would say a closing prayer, and end our time together.
A few long seconds went by. A little girl, Trixie's grand daughter, raised her hand. She was ten or eleven years old. I said Thank you. Then I said, this will end out time together.
That child prayed like she had been planning it for days!
As we were all leaving, I found her and hugged her and thanked her. I told her no one could have done that as good as she did, and that I appreciated her help.
After that day, I decided to make and keep a list of bible verses in my billfold, just in case something like that ever happened again.
The verses are listed below. And might provide a good place to start. You can copy and paste to a word document, or a Notes folder on your phone, or print this off. If internet is available, you can come back to this little blog story about Mrs. Trixie's service and skip down to the end to find these verses.
Some useful verses for a funeral...
Why we gather. Why it matters. Why we are here today.
Ecclesiastes 3:1,2, and 4
There is a time for everything, and a season for everything under the heavens. A time to be born, and a time to die...A time to weep, and a time to laugh.
For Believers, there is something beautiful, even in days like this.
Ecclesiastes 3:11
God has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.
Even on sad days like today, we know God is in control, and has a plan for us.
Psalm 118:24
This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.
We don't always understand. We are not supposed to. That's where our faith comes in. We will understand perfectly when we get to heaven, and are face to face with Jesus.
1 Corinthians 13:12
For now we see through the mirror dimly, then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part, then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
Days like today, and every day, we can trust God and his promises.
Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside quiet waters.
He refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths,
for His names sake.
Even though I walk through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
For you are with me.
Your rod and your staff, they confort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil. My cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
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You might not get a elbow to the ribs, like I did.
But if you are willing, with the Lord's help, you can be ready.
Just in case.